Health Goths Unite

So you want to be a health goth? It's not something to just say you can do. It is a lifestyle. It is a world view. It is fashion.

The health goth fashion is pretty easy to do: wear black. Wear all black everything when you work out. Have black sneakers. Have black gear. Look like you meant to sweat your eyeliner smudgy on your face. It's about looking like a goth while you workout. You should look like you are in pain. In pain that you are working out and in pain that you are dealing with the world.

To be a health goth, you have to workout. You have to rigorously workout and that is your lifestyle. You have to gothly drink your green juice, kombucha, or coconut water. You have to look like you are at a funeral but you're at the gym. So to be a health goth you have to have a workout schedule, the life idea that exercise is everything, and be a healthy person.

Underlying skepticism and ability to creep out your fellow workout buddies is key to health goth success. The personality will make people scared and they will leave you alone as you stretch and sweat. This is key for recognition of your health goth status.